Good Day Mr Moderator, Panel of Judges, Accurate Time Keeper – By Olaotan Fawehinmi

 

BACK TO THE ROOTS
Good day Mr Moderator, Panel of Judges, Accurate Time Keeper, My Esteemed Readers, I am here today to neither convince nor confuse you on the topic “is it a human right or a privilege for a child to be catered for by his or her parent(s)?” I guess I would rather have your opinion on this one, more so that it seems controversial. While some, a vast majority I suppose, would furiously query your audacity as a parent to bring to life the innocent one(s) that you are not willing, able or capable to be responsible for, a few others may just address the issue from a modest point of view, that it is only the grace and mercy of God we all enjoy, either as a child to be cared for by a parent or as a parent to cater for a child.
“Privilege” is defined as a special “advantage” that is given to ONLY one person or group of people, or something that you are “lucky” to have the chance to do or enjoy. And a “Right” is something that you are morally, legally, or officially allowed to do or have. From these definitions, we can simply say, a privilege is a special advantage that you are lucky to enjoy and a right is a deserved advantage that you are qualified to enjoy.
NONE of us had the power to choose the family into which we were born. I am sure a great number of people would have made another choice of where and how they were born if they could. The Aristocrats look at the Peasants and rejoice “thank God we were not born like them”. The Peasants look at the Aristocrats and lament “why were we not born this way?” The Bourgeois say even if we are not as filled as the Aristocrats, at least we are not as hungry as the Peasants. Different strokes for different folks. While some were born with silver spoon, some may have been born with plastic or wooden, and some were born without any spoon at all. The tendency is that a child born into aristocracy sees the ‘more-than-enough’ readily available resources that he or she enjoys as a right and often tend to misbehave, yet it must be hammered that the state of having money does not necessarily make you an aristocrat. True aristocracy is more of having manners than having money. It transcends your financial and material possessions. It is being cultured and well trained; being brought up with intrinsic values – the essence of life. Money, to a true aristocrat, especially if he has it in abundance, is only a tool to humbly express and brilliantly showcase the beauty of those manners, culture, training and values. On the other hand, the Bourgeois look up to the hope that the little that is made available will be enough and the last group almost have no hope at all. Yet they do, they were born with hands at least.
Can I remind you of Michelle’s words about President Barack and herself? How they were both raised by families who didn’t have much in the way of money or material possessions but who had given them something far more valuable – their unconditional love, their unflinching sacrifice, and the chance to go places their parents had never imagined for themselves. A few days ago, I took a deep look at a picture of me when I was 4 years old; I asked myself “could this really be me?” – I don’t think so! I flashed back on how life was not only pretty much easier but also pretty much sweeter. All I did was EAT, LEARN, PLAY and SLEEP. Didn’t have to bother about any of these things or how they were provided. I dressed and looked exactly the way it pleased the one who dressed me up; never wished for all the latest clothes/shoes in town because there was absolutely no one to impress. There were no feelings I ached to express, no burning passion, no emotions and no senses beyond control, no consuming aspirations, no dying ambitions, no consciousness that I am in for a race or a battle.
There were No bills I paid, No salary I waited for, No cares and No worries, No grudges I held, No malice I kept, No hurts, No pains, No dating and No heartbreaks, No dreams, No screams, No past that haunt me, No fears that caught up, No debts, No excuses, No doubts, No promises, No commitments that held me captive, No chase, No purchase, No show-off, No shut down, No being taken for granted, No disappointments, No application letters, No interviews, No truth, No lies, No temptations, No lust, No sin nor any consciousness of it, No guilt, No strives, No thrives, No good, No evil, No bad, No bargain, No regrets, No burdens, No stress, No compromise, No shame, No game, No pretence, No defence, No trials, No errors, No pressure, No skeleton in my cupboard. I can almost say NO THING but for one, LIFE. I just lived. I Lived to Love those who cared for me and raised me. And now I KNOW that they carried all these things, while I was yet unconscious of them.
So, who is a good parent? The man who is smart and daring enough to steal government funds to send a child to Harvard University or the one who loves and cares enough to work hard to support the family and give them a decent living at least? Which would you rather choose between being born by a woman who turned a high class whore to be rich enough to send her child to treat ordinary headache at the Apollo Hospital in India and a woman who would dip her towel into water at 100°C and squeeze with her bare hands just because a child got injured and that was all she could do.
Good parents teach a child to Love – because they believe that your love for your “god” is only as real as your love for yourself and your neighbour; to be decent – following acceptable moral standards of the society; to be dignified – and always behave in a calm controlled way even in a difficult situation; to be honest – that knowing the truth is not all that sets you free, but saying it too; to have integrity – that you can never be too weak or too wounded to take a stand if the course you stand for is greater than your own life; to be humble – after all God resists the proud; to be respectful – more so that we only get it as much as we give it; and above all to be grateful – while some have food and cannot eat, and some can eat but have no food, at least we have food (no matter what it is) and we can eat, so Glory be to the Lord. Great parents raise godly children, who become wonderful youths and in turn fantastic leaders of tomorrow. Sad, we are in a country where these species of people are only a minority.
Did anyone notice I did not mention “to be rich” above? I am just of the opinion that even if money can buy these values, I am yet to find, in my few but momentous years on earth, any store where you can buy them from. They can only be passed on by those who have it too. Who can give what he does not have? Funny enough, at the end of the whole day, it is plain to see that all our decisions and visions are based on these values. Every child is a plain sheet of paper and he/she grows into what you write on it. Can we run a statistics of women who wake up every morning raining curses on their husbands? Chances are high that they saw their mothers doing the same a few years back while they were growing up. Have you noticed any man who beats his wife? Don’t go too far, his father did the same to his mother and that has been written on his plain sheet of paper as a child. Being shoeless is not an excuse to be clueless. NEVER. It is these values and the extent of them you have applied to your life experiences that make you who you are. They say a man who treats his woman like a princess is a proof that he has been raised by a queen. Very true! But you see the mix-up is that we believe a queen is made by the wealth and material possessions at her disposal, no it is not so. It is your heart, and the issues of life that comes out if it, that tell who you are. So, anyone who may not even start out with much, but keeps working hard, with all or most of these values in place, I am rest-assured that he can give himself and his family the good life they deserve.
Do you have a father who would thank you endlessly for sending just a 400 naira MTN recharge card to him rather than tell you to go see how fantastically well your mates are “stealing” to give their parents a good life? Do you have a mother who built you at the expense of building her wardrobe and would still tell you anytime any day to keep waiting for your time, no matter the pressure to feel among? Do you have a sister who would rather have you live with her family than push you out at the risk of mingling with night crawlers; the devil’s advocate? Do you have a brother who would let you use his half-a-size-too-small shoes as the best man to your best friend on his wedding because the one you have is smiling already, rather than hand over his laptop and lead you on the path of internet scam?
They often say humans are like a river, but no matter where you flow to, do not ever forget these people if you were raised by their kind. I also believe we are like trees, but no matter how tall into the clouds you grow, your roots are still the reason you stand firm into the ground. Has it ever occurred to you how everyone admires the greenness of the leaves of a flourishing tree, gracefully pluck and eat the fruits that grow on it to enrich their own lives and sit under its shade to avoid the wrath of the sun but they hardly ever remember the roots of the tree; the source from where it springs; the cord that connects it to the ground from where it draws life? Before the tree came out and was seen by many, it has been with the roots that kept and nurtured it. The roots are hidden and it takes a digging to see them. And until a tree is disconnected from its roots, it has a very high chance of growing again; no matter the damage done to it.
So, after all said, this one thing still remains debateable. Considering the number of children who are being thrown on the trash heaps by their mothers and those who are being given out into slavery to care for the children whose parents have plans for, because their own parents didn’t have plans for them before they came, is it a deserved right to be catered for by your parents or a privilege? I have said mine, now it’s time to hear yours…